


Disturbing Reality

by xxfergiexx



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-19
Updated: 2012-01-19
Packaged: 2017-11-18 18:20:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/564025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxfergiexx/pseuds/xxfergiexx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Changmin's worse fear...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disturbing Reality

“Do you know how much I love you?”  
  


  
  
  
Changmin doesn’t know how to respond to that so he just shakes his head.

  
  
  
  
Yunho sits up on his knees and spreads his arms out wide. “Well, I love you THIIIIIIIIIS much.”

  
  
  
  
“Oh? Is that all?” Changmin grins teasingly.

  
  
  
His friend pretends to think then proclaims dramatically while falling on Changmin’s legs, “I love you as big as the whole world! No, the whole universe!”

  
  
  
Staring at the upturned face of the young man sprawled all over his legs, Changmin says, “But the universe is endless…”

  
  
  
“So is my love for you,” Yunho responds with a line corny as ever before yawning and settling down for a nap.

  
  
  
Changmin feels content watching Yunho sleep until his own eyes shut.  

  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
He is suddenly running around in a giant warehouse with Yunho at his side. Being part of the NDI police force is not an easy job…especially when you’ve got North Korean gang lords on your ass.

  
  
  
They end up in this large room with a long corridor.  Changmin begins making urgent calls to their superior on his walkie-talkie. 

  
  
  
He looks worriedly over at Yunho, hoping the older male doesn’t decide to do anything reckless.  Yunho’s walking around checking every corner of the room until he found a door leading somewhere else.

  
  
  
Changmin calls out, “Yunho! Where are you going?”

  
  
  
His partner waves a dismissive hand towards him and said he’d be right back.  Then his superior starts ranting and yelling at the both of them through the walkie-talkie, making it necessary for Changmin to calm him down and assuring him everything is under control.

  
  
  
When he walks through the same opening Yunho took, he saw another three doors leading to further unknowns. Changmin curses. He has no clue which one Yunho took.  If he tries to take any of the passage-ways, then Yunho will lose him and they’d really be separated.

  
  
  
 _Damn it! Now I’m stuck in this spot till he comes back!_ He immediately switches the walkie-talkie channel to Yunho’s and starts talking into it.  There’s no response.

  
  
  
  
He bid down the fear rising inside him as he thought of what trouble his partner could be in. Then he remembers they had lost the gang members who were on the other side of the warehouse.

  
  
  
After a few minutes of pacing, waiting for Yunho to come back, Changmin tries to contact his partner again. This time there’s a response!

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/xxfergiexx/pic/00087gb9/)

  
  
  
“Hyung! Where are you?!”

[](http://pics.livejournal.com/xxfergiexx/pic/00088kb5/)  
  
  
  
  
“Everything’s fine, Changmin,” Yunho responds calmly with a hint of arrogance in his tone. “It’s all under control.”

  
  
  
Then he heard a hard clicking sound. He assumes his partner dropped the walkie-talkie.

  
  
  
“Hyung! HYUNG!”

  
  
  
No answer.

  
  
  
He heard grunts, shouts, and gun shots.  The fear he was trying to will down claws its way up inside him like an ugly monster.

  
  
  
“HYUNG! HYUNG!”

  
  
  
After a few agonizing minutes, the gun shots stop and that scares Changmin more than the commotion from before.

[](http://pics.livejournal.com/xxfergiexx/pic/00089ah1/)  
  
  
  
  
“HYUNG…HYUNG!”

[](http://pics.livejournal.com/xxfergiexx/pic/0008ak3y/)  
  
  
  
  
  
He rolls his head down wondering what the hell could have happened. There is still more deadly silence on the other end of his two-way radio.   
  
  
  
  
  
Then he remembers that Yunho has a limited number of bullets in the hand gun he strapped on his belt this morning.

[](http://pics.livejournal.com/xxfergiexx/pic/0008cr7s/)  
  
  
  
  
  
Changmin breaks out in a run. He still doesn’t know which door to take so he just chooses the first one, which has another long corridor and more doors.

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/xxfergiexx/pic/0008b5kr/)

  
  
  
  
_What the fuck kind of place is this?_

  
  
  
There are sounds coming from his walkie-talkie again. This time muffled cackles and he’s pretty sure that Yunho’s shouting.

  
  
  
_Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!_

  
  
  
Runs out of the hallway and leaves the first passage-way to try the second one. This room is even bigger and he tries every hidden door, every nook, searching for his partner.

  
  
  
Nothing.

  
  
  
Without warning, a scream resounds from his radio. _YUNHO!_

  
  
  
Changmin wants to just fall apart as he continues to search.  The panic is starting to consume and suffocate him.  _Yunho, where are you?!_

  
  
  
He finally runs through the last passage-way hoping he’d finally find Yunho. When he spots six men hovering over something, he knows he found the right place.

  
  
  
All six men look up and see him frozen at the doorway. It seems all are unprepared for his arrival for they hustle to tuck their dicks back in their pants.  
  
  
  
  
As they part, a naked, bloody body is revealed.  
  
  
  
  
The men begin searching for their guns. Little good does it do them though.

  
  
  
Changmin’s throat closes up and all he sees is a flash of red before pulling out the gun hidden in his pant leg and shooting at every single gang member; Changmin is on an unmerciful rampage.

  
  
  
You know, they say that when a human being is threatened and cornered and just lost someone they love, he or she can become animalistic and destroys everyone and everything in that person’s path.

  
  
  
That is what’s happening with Changmin.  He doesn’t even think as he shoots every man once, then goes back and shoots again: in the head, in the stomach, in the heart, in the knee caps.  
  
  
  
  
His bullets are endless since he had another gun strapped to his other leg for emergencies.

  
  
  
Changmin never ceases his killing until all you can see on the ground is the dead, bloody bodies of the men who murdered and tortured his partner - the person who owns his heart.

  
  
  
He sinks down on his knees in front of Yunho staring at his naked body.  
  
  
  
  
There are cuts all over that lightly tanned skin and a white substance sprinkled all over his face and body.

  
  
  
Changmin throws his head back and cries out, “ _WHHHHHHHHY!_ ”

  
  
  
Tears steam down his faces as he wraps Yunho in his long, brown coat and wipes that small, blank face with the sleeve.

  
  
  
Yunho’s eyes are wet and open. Those brown eyes are so vacant, so lifeless, it slices Changmin’s heart into pieces.

  
  
  
Holding Yunho’s head to his chest while enfolding as much of his friend’s body as he could in his arms, Changmin rocks them back and forth, sobbing uncontrollably.

  
  
  
_Beaten…_

  
  
  
_Raped…_

  
  
  
_Totured…_

  
  
  
_Years of silently loving this man and this is what happens…_

  
  
  
_Come back to me, Yunho!_

  
  
  
_Please don’t leave me!_

  
  
  
  
_Don’t leave me!_

  
  
  
_Don’t leave me…_

  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
  
Changmin wakes up gasping for breath in a dark room. Dread squeezes his intestines, wondering if he’ll be able to face reality or what’s beyond this darkness.

  
  
  
He slowly gets out of bed and walks into the living room. A bright lamp is on.  Squinting his eyes in order to adjust to it, he notes the apartment is empty.

  
  
  
Putting a hand to his heart, he closes his eyes and tries to regulate his breathing.  _Yunho…_

  
  
  
Then as if on call, the front door swings open to bare the beautiful sight of a smiling, very-much-alive Yunho.

  
  
  
An intense shudder runs from his head to his toes.

  
  
  
“Changmin!” Yunho shouts in joy. “You’re finally awake! Guess what I bought you? Chocolate cake!”

  
  
  
When he doesn’t get the reaction he was hoping, Yunho sprints towards him and presents him with a cake and bow.

  
  
  
“For you, my honey funny bunny!”

  
  
  
Changmin stands there staring at the older boy, completely ignoring the cake.

  
  
  
Yunho senses something is wrong so he leads him to the couch. Changmin doesn’t know what to believe.

  
  
  
_Is this a dream? Or was what I had woken up from a dream? It had felt so real!_

  
  
  
“Minnie, what’s wrong?” Yunho asks, peering into his face. “Are you worried about the mini-drama we have to shoot tomorrow for “Before you go”?”

  
  
  
_Oh, that’s right, Shim. You are a pop star. You sing and dance for a living. You are not a NDI agent!_

  
  
  
_…and neither is Yunho._

  
  
  
Relief fills his lungs with sweet oxygen. Changmin slides off the couch to kneel and flatten his face into Yunho’s stomach, nuzzling his face into the cotton shirt and breathing in Yunho’s natural scent.

  
  
  
“Yunho, please, don’t ever leave me!”

  
  
  
“I didn’t leave for that long! When I woke up, you were snoring. Then I thought of the idea to get you some cake as a treat. Clearly, you don’t like it…”  Changmin could hear the pout in Yunho’s tone.

  
  
  
His response is to squeeze his lover tighter. Then Yunho draws his face up. “There are tears in your eyes. Did you have a nightmare?”

  
  
  
Changmin nods and pushes his face into Yunho’s palm.

  
  
  
Yunho’s expression melts into pure adoration. “Oh, my baby had a nightmare. I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

  
  
  
A single tear escapes Changmin’s left eye and gets caught in Yunho’s hand. “Don’t you ever do anything dangerous…don’t you _ever_ die without me.”

  
  
  
Yunho tilts his head in confusion. Changmin goes back to burying his face in that warm chest.    

  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
Phantoms of that nightmare keep plaguing Changmin for days.  Every minute he fears waking up and have _this_ be dream and Yunho lying dead in his arms be the reality. 

  
  
  
When they shot the music video for “Before you go”, they played NDI agents. As he held a gun, as he pointed it an actor’s head, as he yelled and screamed at that man for betraying them and for getting Yunho hurt, he was able to naturally reach inside himself and easily draw out the powerful emotions to make that scene memorable.

  
  
  
Changmin didn’t dare take his eyes off Yunho while they were on that set. He made sure he knew where the man was at all times and made sure he was supervised.  
  
  
  
  
He did this at every single event they went to for months after waking up from that horrendous dream.  

  
  
  
Honestly, it turned him into a bit of a bastard.  Whenever Yunho said he wanted to go bowling with his friends, he made sure to tag along. And if Changmin didn’t feel like going out at the time, he’d forbid Yunho to go.

  
  
  
“You forbid me to go?” His boyfriend was incredulous the first Changmin fought for the upper hand.

  
  
  
“Yes, I forbid you to go. Stay home, it’s safer.”

  
  
  
“Oh? Like the bowling alley is soooooooo dangerous, right?”

  
  
  
“Your sarcasm isn’t appreciated.”

  
  
  
“Your absurd reasoning isn’t appreciated!”

  
  
  
It always ended with Changmin winning, either through bullying or coaxing Yunho into submission.

  
  
  
They fought more and more ever since that day…mostly due to Changmin’s short fuse when Yunho didn’t follow his orders.  

  
  
  
The need to protect Yunho overshadows his better judgment.  His reasoning is: If Changmin can’t control the evil outside forces that may hurt his lover, then he’s damn well going to control the older boy enough to prevent anything bad from happening to him.   
  
  
  
  
Be it gang rape or a strong gust of wind - Yunho is only safe if Changmin is keeping a vigilant eye on him.  

  
  
  
He isn’t sure how long Yunho is going to let him get away with this behavior but he plans to die trying to protect the man he loves.

  
  
  
\----  
  
  
  
  
They are in their apartment watching T.V. one dreary day. Yunho is curled at the other end of the couch while Changmin watches him more than the television.

  
  
  
“Yunho, come here…lay in arms.”

  
  
  
Yunho looks at him and spreads out his legs to rest them in Changmin’s lap. “It’s okay. I’m fine here.”

  
  
  
Changmin tugs and squeezes the feet in his lap. “Come on.”

  
  
  
Abruptly pulling away, Yunho stands up. “I think I’m gonna go get a snack.”

  
  
  
“Let me get it for you.”

  
  
  
“No! It’s fine, I’ll do it.”

  
  
  
Changmin grabs Yunho’s arm to stop him. “I said I’ll get it.”

  
  
  
Yunho glares at him. “And I said I’ll do it.” But Changmin wouldn’t let go.

  
  
  
He can feel his lover’s temper rising. “Forget the snack! I wanna get some fresh air.” Yunho pulls his arm away roughly and practically runs to the door.

  
  
  
Before the other boy could get his shoes on, Changmin boxes him in against the nearest wall.

  
  
  
“You are _not_ going outside.”

  
  
  
Yunho hits the taller boy’s chest with his fists.  “I’ve had enough of your controlling behavior, Changmin! It’s becoming sick! I can’t even go the bathroom without being interrogated!”

  
  
  
Love and fear rule Changmin’s following actions and words. He shoves Yunho back into the wall, holding the other’s arms above his head.

  
  
  
“Well, deal with it. As long as you remain your reckless, naïve self, it will continue to be like this.”

  
  
  
Yunho stares up at him imploringly. “Why are like this? Your presence is too much for me now-a-days…I don’t know how to be with you anymore!”

  
  
  
“I think you know how to be with me,” Changmin whispers huskily.

  
  
  
Yunho turns his head away. “Even your love-making is overwhelming. I just don’t…understand…”

  
  
  
A flash of Yunho’s cold, bloody body plays like a horrible mirage in his head.  Changmin cries out in agony.

  
  
  
His lover stares at him with worried, slightly frightened eyes. “Min, baby, what’ve you been going through?”

  
  
  
Changmin can’t answer him. He refuses to put that ominous image in his boyfriend’s head. So he tries to fuck it away like he always does.

  
  
  
Pulling Yunho’s pants and boxer down with one swift movement, he threw them away impatiently and rises up to kiss the other boy’s small, full mouth unforgivingly.

  
  
  
_Lose yourself, Min, lose yourself in this warm, soft body._

  
  
  
With Yunho’s legs wrapped around his waist, Changmin surges in and out of his precious lover until his own back is clawed red by blunt nails.   
  
  
  
  
Yunho whimpers as he hangs on for the ride, his back scraping against the wall each time he’s penetrated.

  
  
  
“Ah! Ah! Ah! Ahhhhhhh! Chang…Min!”

  
  
  
Changmin pours all his built up tension inside Yunho and falls to the ground with the older boy on top of him.  

  
  
  
His lover kisses him softly on the lips. “I love you.”

  
  
  
Changmin’s hungry eyes roam all over Yunho’s face. “How much?”

  
  
  
“As deep as the ocean.”

  
  
  
He frowns. “That’s not endless…”

  
  
  
Yunho laughs a bit then says, “As deep as the black hole then!”

  
  
  
Changmin smirks. “Much better.”

  
  
  
His boyfriend’s smile slips. “I don’t know what you’re going through, but I promise not to give you a hard time anymore.”  Yunho cups Changmin’s face and adds, “I won’t leave you until the day I die.”

  
  
  
He trembles and hangs on to Yunho tightly. No way is Changmin going to let that nightmare become a reality.  
  
  
  
  
 _Ever._


End file.
